Quest for ultimate PR graphic successfully concluded

Dear Sir or Madam,

You’re almost certainly aware that the PR industry has been unable to deliver any meaningful PR for the last 25 years, as it’s been consumed by its self-set quest to discover a graphic representing the true definition of PR, without which no PowerPoint could be completed and, therefore, nothing done.

I can announce the quest is complete. I, James Farquharson, discovered the one true graphic on a casual Google images search yesterday afternoon.

PR is about creating enough publicity to get people to notice you, then not saying anything monumentally stupid and/or offensive so they don’t start thinking you’re an idiot and go off you.

Every once in a while you need to say something else to get their attention and, once more, not follow it up with something fantastically ill-considered/twatty.

Publicity, nice chit-chat, publicity, nice chit-chat, publicity, nice chit-chat… great reputation, GREAT REPUTATION, GREAT REPUTATION…

Razzmattaz-Wheel

I know what you’re thinking. That’s a picture of a firework with an entertaining name. Look again, my friends. Let the scales fall from your eyes.

IT’S THE ONE TRUE GRAPHIC.

I expect this discovery will lead to my being offered a position on the board of the PRCA (maybe), as well as an invitation to speak at WEF (yes).

This graphic can only be used by licencing agreement with my trading body (my wife is a sole trader so she’s set up for tax, etc.). Any related searches on Google images, e.g. “ultimate PR graphic”, will be tracked by my associates in the intelligence services. Don’t do it.

Yours, etc.

James W Farquharson

 

Devo Max for everyone

I’d understand it if the Scots voted to leave the UK. I think they’ll struggle for a while, as their state sector and economy re-balance. However, given the options they’ll be presented with on the ballot paper, status quo or independence, I’d perhaps vote to make my own choices on how I’m governed, thanks very much.

I’ll also understand it if the UK (whomever that’ll include) vote to leave the EU in 2017. I think we’ll struggle for a while, as our state sector and economy re-balance. However, given the options we’ll be presented with on the ballot paper, what’ll amount to the status quo or independence, I’ll vote to make my own choices on how I’m governed, thanks very much.

Alternatively, if only the power it really makes sense for the Scots to lend to the UK government to exercise on their behalf (e.g. foreign policy and defence) or the UK population to the EU bureaucracy is lent, I’d be all for the reverse results.

What I’m saying is that the UK should be a federal state, with each nation, including England, managing its own affairs and only pooling resource when, for example, an aircraft carrier wears out.

Similarly, the EU can become a federal super-state and I’d be for it, as long as its powers to mess with every last little thing is massively curtailed.

 

 

No need to learn anything

‘Now there’s Google, learning things is obsolete.’

Imagine everything you know is removed from your memory.

How well do you think you’ll be able to negotiate your day to day existence? It could be something of struggle, right?

But, ah-ha, you’re given an internet-enabled computer with Google open on it. And you…

Without knowledge you’re going to struggle to formulate the terms you’ll need to search your way to solutions for even the most basic issues you’ll encounter in your life – you won’t have any idea where to start.

This is ridiculous – one can’t know nothing.

So how much knowledge do you need? Where does the return on knowledge in terms of providing a framework through which to extend one’s understanding of oneself, one’s fellows and one’s environment and start being a big fat waste of brain space?

Never, is the answer. The more you know, the more ‘self-actualising’ you can be.

Keep learning. If someone says don’t, they’re wrong.

 

 

 

Pink Extremist

According to Jenny Willott, Lib Dem MP for Cardiff and the coalition government’s Consumer Affairs minister, my daughter’s fondness for pink is eroding her life chances. And it’s all my fault.

Let me tell you, Jenny Willott, because you’re bound to read this, I had nothing to do with it.

When the TV is on, I try to guide her towards the more interesting (to me) end of the entertainment spectrum, e.g. Toy Story, Kung Fu Panda, Cars, etc.

Is she interested? No, not really.

We bought her Disney’s Cinderella on DVD and the thing must be near to wearing out.

I bought her a plastic chicken on wheels when she was really young and showed her how it’s possible to make it jump over chasms and explode.

What’s not to like? Not interested.

I bought her a tub of plastic dinosaurs from the Natural History Museum and showed her the best way for them to attack each other.

To my joy, I saw her later copying this… no, wait… she making them cuddle.

She won’t ride her scooter.  She will wear her Little Mermaid outfit. 

I’ve not done this and I’ve not seen my wife forcing her to conform to gender stereotypes either.

Pink is little girl catnip.

Return of the Native

In October last year, my family and I left our home on the outskirts of London and moved to Dorset.

Our eldest daughter (2 years old) was starting to form friendships with other children at nursery and we’d soon need to start thinking about settling her into a school. If we were ever to move, the time had come.

I grew up in Weymouth and remembered the things it offered me as a child. It’s a holiday town, with a holiday atmosphere. My wife, who’s originally from Chester, was game so here we are.

The town is better than it was. The economic blow suffered when the navy base closed is in the past. Though there still aren’t quite enough good jobs, it was ever thus and there is more employment now than there was, even when the base was open.  All the building and infrastructure developments have been successful, some fantastically so, e.g. the ‘Olympic legacy’ road to Dorchester.

OK, I don’t like the Sea Life Tower or the laser beams on the front (bring back the fairy lights).

In the main though, it’s all worked out better than we had dared to hope. Even the cats are cock-a-hoop.

Freelance PR: content marketing, media relations and social media management. Copywriting to boldly go. UK based, with international experience.

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